Don't Read this Shit: Archive

December 2011

3 posts

 I'm not precarious about it purely because Alex is pissed at you.  Yeah, we both found it odd that you were going out of your way to stay friends earlier in the semester and then suddenly dropped off the face of the earth when you got a girlfriend. I said I'll see how things go, but it's kind of nerve wracking when you talk about how uncomfortable you suddenly are hanging out with me, but you don't want to text me because you'd rather hang out in person.  That uncomfortable thing wasn't really an issue until about a month ago, and if it was, it wasn't enough of an issue for you to act on it.  Logically, the action pieces don't fit with the word pieces.
 Alex didn't believe from the gitgo that you dated me for any reason other then to have A girlfriend, and in his eyes, you magically stopped chasing me the second you got another one.  So yeah, that didn't help your case with him.  He has other reasons too, but this is the only one we really hold in common.  Those don't factor into how I feel.  But that's his business and not mine.  I don't really want to change another person because of what I think, it turned out so goddamn well last time I tried.  Yeah, I'll admit it's not a big enough issue for me to break up with him over.  It's a thing.
 So yeah, I still want to be friends because I want to believe what I think right now isn't true.  I didn't realize you were extremely nose-to-the-grind busy before school ended, so I'm willing to believe that played into just never hearing from you.  
 I didn't come back last night because Alex wound up sleeping on my couch.  I know you don't like him so I didn't come back by and bring him to not upset you.  And if was going to piss you off so goddamn much, why didn't you just ask me to stick around when I dropped you back at your place?
 And as an added note, I didn't really expect your girlfriend to like me in the first place.  I'm kind of abrasive, if you haven't noticed.  And if I'm not, Alex will be for me.
 Edited several times for clarity cause my parents are trying to read over my shoulder down in the kitchen.
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 First off and foremost, you're twisting my words, so please stop it,  Second off, I didn't drop off the face of the planet when Alex and I started dating.  According to Chandler, I came out of my room a lot more and got more social after that.  And I talked to you to.  We even hung out Saturday right afterward, but then suddenly during Thanksgiving break, you started lashing out at me, and I've been uncomfortable since then, cause it's kinda been non-stop from that point.  That's when the uncomfortable became an issue.  Because honestly, in my eyes, nothing about our friendship had changed and suddenly you were yelling at me all the time, and recently you started poking how much Alex said this or that and you were uncomfortable about it.  In my eyes, yeah, that is letting him put ideas about me in your head and I really kinda hoped that after 8 years of being friends with me you at least somewhat understood that I'm not like that.
 And about Alex and last night, I already told you that Andrew wanted to leave.  This is my one chance to see him until he goes back, and I'd rather it be a good time.  So yeah, if he wasn't having fun, I wasn't sticking around to be picked on.  But it's whatever, you don't believe that or anything else I say at this point, so what's the point really?  You've made it clear you don't want to be friends with me anymore, so I guess we're not.  If that upsets you, deal with it.
 ---
 Yeah, show me where I twisted your words.  You use this as an excuse almost every time we fight, and you can never point out how or where.
 Yeah, we hung out that night, and even then you got all quiet and was like "I want to go sit in my room."  And maybe Chandler saw you being more social- great, that makes me feel even better that you didn't want to do crap with me.
 I probably got mad at you for not responding to me about something.  I remember getting frustrated around t-giving because I messaged you a bunch of times on facebook about German stuff, and instead of replying you kept poking me.  So yeah, maybe that's why I got pissy, but instead of giving a crap why, you stopped talking to me.
 Oh yeah, there was also that thing where you posted a picture to your girlfriend's facebook wall that I'd sent you when I was in PA, and you told me how much of a waste of time having to look at it was.  I got really fucking mad at that, but we talked about it and I chilled out,  I figured that was water under the bridge though.
 And okay, like I said earlier.  I didn't realize you weren't pissed.  You got quiet, asked to leave, and hate Alex.   I figured through some combination of the those you were unhappy with him coming.  If you'd said Andrew and you wanted to do something else, that would've been fine with me.  Just nobody ever tells me anything.
ETA: Yeah, that thing with the picture was why I was so mad all of Thanksgiving.  You said a lot of hurtful things last spring, and getting a text message that a cute harmless picture was a waste of your life really iced the cake for me.  It was one of those sort of moments that I kind of curled up in my bed and wanted to die.
And yeah, then you showed it to your new girlfriend 8 months later, after I already got to watch you do everything with her that would've kept me from dumping you.  That was what I was so mad at, but to be honest, I don't care anymore.  I get you're trying to improve yourself and not fuck up.  I just didn't get that when I saw that picture, that's all.  I saw you being a two-faced jerk, and I'm sorry.  I thought I told you this already though : /
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 "I'm not precarious about it purely because Alex is pissed at you. Yeah, we both found it odd that you were going out of your way to stay friends earlier in the semester and then suddenly dropped off the face of the earth when you got a girlfriend."
 I'm not even sure what the hell you're talking about here, cause I did not.
 "I said I'll see how things go, but it's kind of nerve wracking when you talk about how uncomfortable you suddenly are hanging out with me, but you don't want to text me because you'd rather hang out in person. That uncomfortable thing wasn't really an issue until about a month ago, and if it was, it wasn't enough of an issue for you to act on it."
 I don't want texts or to see you in person.  I want you to leave me alone, cause all you do is give me shit, put me down, and blatantly try to make me feel like crap.  The uncomfortable was not a problem til about a a month ago, you're right.  THATS WHEN YOU STARTED BITING MY HEAD OFF 24/7!  And I really haven't wanted to be around you since them.  Who the fuck would wanna hang out with someone who's gonna go out of their way to to make you feel like shit?  Yeah, exactly.
 You twisted what I said about being uncomfortable with you now.  I never said I don't want to text because I wanna hang in person.  I said I prefer that over texting, but I really don't wanna talk to you much at all until you stop treating me like shit... Over text or in person.  I'm not comfortable with the way you're treating me AT ALL, and I've already said I'm avoiding you because of it.
 "Logically, the action pieces don't fit with the word pieces."  
 Logically, it makes complete sense.
 "Alex didn't believe from the gitgo that you dated me for any reason other then to have A girlfriend, and in his eyes, you magically stopped chasing me the second you got another one."
 I've already been over this with you.  I stopped chasing you a while ago.  Before I even met Alex, so don't give me the bullshit.  It was when we got in the stupid fight in October, and I've told you this already.  After that fight, I decided that our friendship was too important to me to keep the crap up, so I stopped... Thanks for believing me...
 "So yeah, I still want to be friends because I want to believe what I think right now isn't true."
 If you really wanna not believe what you think right now, then stop treating me like that's who I am.
 "Yeah, we hung out that night, and even then you got all quiet and was like "I want to go sit in my room.""
 Ubntrue, that was for like maybe 30 minutes tops out of the whole night.  You know sometimes I'm anti-social and need to on my own for a lttle bit, it's always been that way.  But you also seem to forget playing dokapon kingdom, being too loud over and over, playing with sparklers out in the courtyard, getting up on the CoC, shooting fireworks off around campus.  And what about all the times I smoked with behind woodies and talked to you about stuff.  Ya'know, listened to you while you were upset, or normal days where we just talked about stuff.
 "Oh yeah, there was also that thing where you posted a picture to your girlfriend's facebook wall that I'd sent you when I was in PA, and you told me how much of a waste of time having to look at it was."
 After I left my phone by my bed while talking to my parents downstairs, you flooded it with texts about how much of a dick I was for not responding, and when I was like, "I didn't have my phone." you continuously accused me ignoring you, kind of like you do now. Hmmm... Then when I got pissed that you were yelling at me, I stopped talking to you cause I was already stressed as fuck and you were only making it worse cause you wouldn't listen to me and just kept yelling at me.  Then you started posting that stuff all over my facebook, and I was pissed that you were trying to make me feel like shit, so yeah, I did say it was stupid... I was pissed, really pissed.
 "and hate Alex"
 Never said this.  I've told you before that the crap I said early semester was me being a jealous fuckbag.  I said that I don't appreciate him not liking me, but it's his business if he wants to.  I never said I hate him.
 "If you'd said Andrew and you wanted to do something else, that would've been fine with me. Just nobody ever tells me anything."
 Remember how in Wal-mart I said we were bored and wanted to leave?  Oh, hey, I did say something...
"I get you're trying to improve yourself and not fuck up.  I just didn't get that when I saw that picture, that's all.  I saw you being a two-faced jerk, and I'm sorry.  I thought I told you this already though : /"
 You never said any of this to me.  You got drunk with Chandler then randomly started bitching me out.  And guess what... that's where all this bullshit started, so.
 ----
 Hey, are we chiller now?  Cause I have a response to all this, but you weren't acting pissed off at me like an hour ago so I don't want to post it.

Dec 25th

HEY, READ THIS.

 I'm not precarious about it purely because Alex is pissed at you.  Yeah, we both found it odd that you were going out of your way to stay friends earlier in the semester and then suddenly dropped off the face of the earth when you got a girlfriend. I said I'll see how things go, but it's kind of nerve wracking when you talk about how uncomfortable you suddenly are hanging out with me, but you don't want to text me because you'd rather hang out in person.  That uncomfortable thing wasn't really an issue until about a month ago, and if it was, it wasn't enough of an issue for you to act on it.  Logically, the action pieces don't fit with the word pieces.
 Alex didn't believe from the gitgo that you dated me for any reason other then to have A girlfriend, and in his eyes, you magically stopped chasing me the second you got another one.  So yeah, that didn't help your case with him.  He has other reasons too, but this is the only one we really hold in common.  Those don't factor into how I feel.  But that's his business and not mine.  I don't really want to change another person because of what I think, it turned out so goddamn well last time I tried.  Yeah, I'll admit it's not a big enough issue for me to break up with him over.  It's a thing.
 So yeah, I still want to be friends because I want to believe what I think right now isn't true.  I didn't realize you were extremely nose-to-the-grind busy before school ended, so I'm willing to believe that played into just never hearing from you.  
 I didn't come back last night because Alex wound up sleeping on my couch.  I know you don't like him so I didn't come back by and bring him to not upset you.  And if was going to piss you off so goddamn much, why didn't you just ask me to stick around when I dropped you back at your place?
 And as an added note, I didn't really expect your girlfriend to like me in the first place.  I'm kind of abrasive, if you haven't noticed.  And if I'm not, Alex will be for me.
 Edited several times for clarity cause my parents are trying to read over my shoulder down in the kitchen.
 -----------
 First off and foremost, you're twisting my words, so please stop it,  Second off, I didn't drop off the face of the planet when Alex and I started dating.  According to Chandler, I came out of my room a lot more and got more social after that.  And I talked to you to.  We even hung out Saturday right afterward, but then suddenly during Thanksgiving break, you started lashing out at me, and I've been uncomfortable since then, cause it's kinda been non-stop from that point.  That's when the uncomfortable became an issue.  Because honestly, in my eyes, nothing about our friendship had changed and suddenly you were yelling at me all the time, and recently you started poking how much Alex said this or that and you were uncomfortable about it.  In my eyes, yeah, that is letting him put ideas about me in your head and I really kinda hoped that after 8 years of being friends with me you at least somewhat understood that I'm not like that.
 And about Alex and last night, I already told you that Andrew wanted to leave.  This is my one chance to see him until he goes back, and I'd rather it be a good time.  So yeah, if he wasn't having fun, I wasn't sticking around to be picked on.  But it's whatever, you don't believe that or anything else I say at this point, so what's the point really?  You've made it clear you don't want to be friends with me anymore, so I guess we're not.  If that upsets you, deal with it.
 ---
 Yeah, show me where I twisted your words.  You use this as an excuse almost every time we fight, and you can never point out how or where.
 Yeah, we hung out that night, and even then you got all quiet and was like "I want to go sit in my room."  And maybe Chandler saw you being more social- great, that makes me feel even better that you didn't want to do crap with me.
 I probably got mad at you for not responding to me about something.  I remember getting frustrated around t-giving because I messaged you a bunch of times on facebook about German stuff, and instead of replying you kept poking me.  So yeah, maybe that's why I got pissy, but instead of giving a crap why, you stopped talking to me.
 Oh yeah, there was also that thing where you posted a picture to your girlfriend's facebook wall that I'd sent you when I was in PA, and you told me how much of a waste of time having to look at it was.  I got really fucking mad at that, but we talked about it and I chilled out,  I figured that was water under the bridge though.
 And okay, like I said earlier.  I didn't realize you weren't pissed.  You got quiet, asked to leave, and hate Alex.   I figured through some combination of the those you were unhappy with him coming.  If you'd said Andrew and you wanted to do something else, that would've been fine with me.  Just nobody ever tells me anything.
ETA: Yeah, that thing with the picture was why I was so mad all of Thanksgiving.  You said a lot of hurtful things last spring, and getting a text message that a cute harmless picture was a waste of your life really iced the cake for me.  It was one of those sort of moments that I kind of curled up in my bed and wanted to die.
And yeah, then you showed it to your new girlfriend 8 months later, after I already got to watch you do everything with her that would've kept me from dumping you.  That was what I was so mad at, but to be honest, I don't care anymore.  I get you're trying to improve yourself and not fuck up.  I just didn't get that when I saw that picture, that's all.  I saw you being a two-faced jerk, and I'm sorry.  I thought I told you this already though : /

Dec 24th

HEY, READ THIS.

 Earlier this year
Emilia: If your girlfriend hates me, please don't stop being friends with me.
Me: Emilia, we've been best friends forever, if she hates you, she can deal.
 Lately
Emilia: Alex is always pissed about you, and you're really not worth it as a friend anymore.
Me: lol, fuck you too, hypocrite!  I take back what I said, she has every right to hate you.
 -------
 I'm not precarious about it purely because Alex is pissed at you.  Yeah, we both found it odd that you were going out of your way to stay friends earlier in the semester and then suddenly dropped off the face of the earth when you got a girlfriend. I said I'll see how things go, but it's kind of nerve wracking when you talk about how uncomfortable you suddenly are hanging out with me, but you don't want to text me because you'd rather hang out in person.  That uncomfortable thing wasn't really an issue until about a month ago, and if it was, it wasn't enough of an issue for you to act on it.  Logically, the action pieces don't fit with the word pieces.
 Alex didn't believe from the gitgo that you dated me for any reason other then to have A girlfriend, and in his eyes, you magically stopped chasing me the second you got another one.  So yeah, that didn't help your case with him.  He has other reasons too, but this is the only one we really hold in common.  Those don't factor into how I feel.  But that's his business and not mine.  I don't really want to change another person because of what I think, it turned out so goddamn well last time I tried.  Yeah, I'll admit it's not a big enough issue for me to break up with him over.  It's a thing.
 So yeah, I still want to be friends because I want to believe what I think right now isn't true.  I didn't realize you were extremely nose-to-the-grind busy before school ended, so I'm willing to believe that played into just never hearing from you.  
 I didn't come back last night because Alex wound up sleeping on my couch.  I know you don't like him so I didn't come back by and bring him to not upset you.  And if was going to piss you off so goddamn much, why didn't you just ask me to stick around when I dropped you back at your place?
 And as an added note, I didn't really expect your girlfriend to like me in the first place.  I'm kind of abrasive, if you haven't noticed.  And if I'm not, Alex will be for me.
 Edited several times for clarity cause my parents are trying to read over my shoulder down in the kitchen.